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January 29 Ministry Update from John Wilburn on Vimeo.

Last week a good friend of mine pointed out something that I could be working on spiritually. He did it in a spirit of love and humility instead of arrogance [1] but that didn’t keep me from getting angry at first.

None of us actually feel good when people point out a weakness (whether they are right or wrong doesn’t really matter) so it’s actually normal to respond with hostility.

But we must make sure that isn’t our last response.

As I read his words over and over again [2] my mind started asking some very hard questions.

1. Is he writing this just to be mean? No
2. Does he give proof as to how my weakness is affecting things in the wrong way? Yes
3. Is this actually a weakness in my life? Yes
4. Is the Lord using him in this situation? Yes

This experience has taught me there is a special beauty in a loving confrontation.

Sadly the world is filled with people who are overly critical and go around looking for something to fight about. So we forget sometimes that there is a big difference between this, and a loving confrontation.

1. A loving confrontation takes emotion out of the situation as much as possible
2. It’s goal is to help the person work on a weakness they cannot see [3]
3. It comes from someone who has genuine concern for your well-being
4. And it hopes to begin a conversation about the weakness that can lead to growth

The problem is we don’t notice a loving confrontation when it appears, and respond the same way we would with mean-spirited criticism

This is why a cooling-down period and evaluation of what the person was saying is so important. It allows us to learn if it’s done in love, or the person just wants to give us a hard time.

If this is a loving confrontation then we are called by God to completely embrace it.

The reason why is we often don’t see our own weaknesses, or how our actions are being perceived by others. Christian friends are a tool that God uses to lovingly point out those weaknesses that we don’t notice on our own.

Of course that doesn’t mean we should just go around looking for people to lovingly confront. Only those things which have a direct effect upon others should be pointed out.

Okay so how are we supposed to respond to a loving confrontation?

1. Take a day to think about what they had said [4]
2. Think seriously about the weakness they are referring to in the confrontation
3. Respond to the individual confessing that particular weakness [5]
4. Make changes in your life to ensure this weakness doesn’t happen again

There is something sort of humiliating about confessing your weakness to another individual I know. But the fact that this person genuinely cares about us gives the confidence needed to share our weakness.

Like many of you I work too much. This isn’t necessarily a problem by itself, but my mind seems to view relaxation (something like watching tv, or reading a book) as being lazy. So even while watching television at night I’m doing other things [1] and am not truly relaxing.

The problem of course is our bodies need to have true rest [2], ideally this would be done on a daily basis so our body doesn’t break down from exhaustion

Rest doesn’t necessarily need to be some extended thing though…in fact i’ve found a ten to fifteen minute nap can do wonders for a person [3].

In the past I would listen to my body when it sent warnings (your working too hard, you need to rest) and force myself to rest for ten minutes, but lately that has been a bit more difficult.

Last week I didn’t have the same amount of energy as normal (combination of half-marathon training, and new eating plan) so more rest naps were needed than usual. Unfortunately in my view these were a waste of time [4] so I chose to push through physically.

Wednesday morning after mentoring a kindergartener my body started giving off some serious warning signs about needing rest

1. Slight headache
2. Feeling of dizziness at times
3. It was hard to focus
4. In other words, I needed to rest

Did I take a quick nap to re-energize myself? Of course not! Instead I chose to push through and keep writing blog posts.

Finally at 11:30 it was almost impossible to continue so I gave myself a half-hour to rest.

This ended up being a 5 1/2 hour puke a thon where I vomited up things I didn’t even remember eating.

Now this forty-eight hour stomach bug didn’t just come because I wasn’t taking naps, but eating fewer calories while burning large quantities created a perfect storm for any kind of sickness.

Would I have been able to escape this illness with short naps? I’m not really sure. What I do know is my body didn’t have the energy to fight that stomach bug when it came.

There is an important lesson for life and ministry here.  We must understand the value of rest, and create short periods of rest in your daily life.  Because that short rest break isn’t being lazy, instead it’s what our body needs to continue working effectively.

So close your eyes for a few minutes
Read the book
Watch a favorite move or tv show
Or drink that extra cup of coffee

That “wasted” ten to fifteen minutes will be much better than feeling you want to die for five hours 🙂

While technology and advancements have made life much easier today than past generations, most people will agree it’s also added greatly to our daily stress levels. The ability to do more in less time has just resulted in our filling spare time with more responsibilities.

Adding to already busy schedules will eventually result in problems we cannot take care of on our own. This usually brings intense stress, or tension

When tension comes into our lives we have three options

1. Ignore the rising stress levels and act as if everythings okay when it really isn’t
2. Blow up in frustration and attack everyone else (blaming them for the tension)
3. Or my personal favorite, medicate your stress with Pepsi and baked goods

Each of these responses in it’s own way tries to escape the tension [1]. This isn’t abnormal since dealing with a high level of stress is incredibly difficult.

But maybe we have it all wrong
Maybe instead of running from tension we should view it as a gift

Last Monday I read “letter from Birmingham Jail” by Dr Martin Luther King. In this letter he defended his choice to be a part of peaceful protests, and made a very interesting statement.

”I must confess that I am not afraid of the word ‘tension’. There is a type of nonviolent tension necessary for growth”

The tension Dr. King refers to here is brought on by protests against racial injustice. There were quite a few people who criticised his work in Alabama because of the huge amounts of stress that it put on people (reminding them of racial inequality).

Instead of apologizing for the tension (which they probably expected) Dr. King pointed out there was most definitely a need for tension…this was the only way change would truly come.

This thought shows us a very important truth.

There is such a thing as “good tension,” when we face massive amounts of stress while doing the right thing. And in those situations like Martin Luther King, we can rest in the fact that true change will come from our suffering.

For me this tension is about returning to Melbourne which involves lots of money, time, paperwork, and yes patience. To be honest there are sleepless hours when I’m tempted to give up on returning because it’s just too hard. Yet in those moments the Lord reminds me tension isn’t always a curse.

Sometimes it’s what God uses to show we are following Him.

Tomorrow my niece and nephew are supposed to be having a birthday party, but unfortunately it’s been cancelled because bad weather is keeping my parents and I from traveling there [1].

In preparation for this visit I got the normal items (cards and presents) but knew one more thing had to be done.

Mr. Tickle Monster had to wish them happy birthday.

I’m not necessarily sure how this began, but sometime during my first furlough in 2009 while playing with my niece I came up with the ingenious idea of bringing my thumb up to meet the hands four remaining fingers to create something that looked like a mouth.  Of course this resulted in chasing her around a room, and often tickling ensued.

His original name was “tickle monster” but we eventually decided on “mr. tickle monster [2].

My nieces love of mr. tickle monster continued to grow as he always had a habit of showing up during my Skype chats with them from Australia, or in pictures I took of myself while there.

During my current stay in the States my nephew has also learned to enjoy mr. tickle monster though his response is different from hers [3].

So last Friday I created a video of myself along with mr tickle monster saying happy birthday; think the worst ventriloquist act or stand up comedy routine you’ve ever seen, and you will get the general idea.

Editors note: Just in case your interested in getting a copy of this video forget about it. The only two in existence are with me and my brother who will play it for them (but may be willing to sell it to the highest bidder).

Okay now for the big question…what in the world does the tickle monster have to do with returning to Melbourne?

Just that God gives each of us different gifts and talents (for instance I can entertain children and create ridiculous looking videos). And each of those are meant to be used for His Glory.

To take this gift of connecting with children and not use it would be like the parable Jesus told about the servant who buried a coin his master had given in the sand instead of using it wisely.

So I look for ways to use this gift in the States and Australia (sometimes using mr. tickle monster [4]). And practice that connection so the Lord will be honored by its involvement in ministry.

Don’t worry you won’t be seeing mr. tickle monster in any of my sermons or Bible studies. But rest assured he will be ready to control a group of rowdy children 🙂