Walking Away From What I Love

IMG_0069Yesterday was one of those moments that involved incredible happiness and a heart of sadness at the same time since it was my last day ministering in the school system.

A little over a year ago the Lord allowed me to become involved in a one on one tutoring ministry. It didn’t take long for this to grow from one day a week to five involving three schools

Though the opportunities continued to grow it didn’t create a serious problem since it only took about two-hours of my time each day (from 8:00 to about 10:00) and was something I really looked forward to.

Or at least it was

About five weeks ago something amazing happened. I’m not sure of exact day but one morning while driving to a school a thought popped into my head…“I wish I didn’t have to do this.”

That thought shocked me since working with children is something I love to do, and God’s blessed me with gifts as well as abilities to do it.

“Oh well” I thought to myself, “maybe I am just tired or having a bad day.” But with every visit to a school that lack of satisfaction just grew. It took two weeks of this before I finally figured out what was going on.

God was closing the door to my school ministry

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There are moments in life when the Lord takes things we love away from us, in most cases these are actually good things (like ministering to children). The good news is when God closes a door it means that He is opening a new (and better) one to take it’s place.

it doesn’t give the feeling of fulfillment that it used to because God’s closing that door
But that didn’t make walking away from those children for the last time any easier yesterday morning.

Gotta love the fact that a student couldn’t remember how to spell my name, but didn’t forget I am bald 🙂

A photo posted by australianmissionary (@australianmissionary) on May 7, 2015 at 8:02am PDT

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As I made the long walk back to my truck yesterday here are some things the Lord brought to my mind.

  1. Just because I love something doesn’t automatically make it God’s Will for my life
  2. This closed door gives more time to focus on returning to Australia
  3. This school ministry while good was fairly shallow (I ministered to many children for around an hour a week)
  4. The Lord may now give me an opportunity to have a deeper impact (minister to one or two children for longer amounts of time)

More than anything my heart was comforted by the fact that it was God who took away this ministry.  And as a loving Heavenly Father, I can trust Him to know what’s best for me.

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