For some reason one day about every six weeks I wake up depressed. It’s a weird feeling but a cloud sort of hangs over my head all day. Usually a combination of stress, and physical weariness.
The truth is we all have days when the drama or issues of life get us down, and of course it’s those days when everything goes wrong (at least it feels that way)
The real struggle on days like this is obeying God since I honestly don’t want to (there’s no motivation), and even if there was motivation I don’t have the strength to obey Him.
The bottom line is I’m drained physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. So of course the goal is to “fill myself back up.”
This is where social-media is dangerous since it allows me to fill up in very selfish ways.
- By phrasing a Facebook post about being depressed or discouraged so that people will like or comment on it, and I will feel better [1]
- By using one of my world-famous pity parties to gain the concern of others [2]
- Or by spending the afternoon communicating with others online about what a terrible day I was having
Let me just be honest and say there was a BIG temptation to go with option 1 since it would almost immediately take away the feeling of depression. But then I stopped and thought about something,
“what if this depression came from God?”
seriously,
What if God is the source of my bad days?
As a Christian I know God is in control of everything that happens in my life, so it’s not as if God turned his back for a moment and after turning back around said “oh no John’s having a bad day!”
Instead God uses bad days for His glory by reminding me I’m broken.
Ever since Genesis chapter three when Adam and Eve sinned we have all been born broken (unable to save ourselves) because of a sin nature, and unable to survive on our own strength. I forget that sometimes…so God in love has to break me [3].
The thing about my brokeness Is I usually want to hide it or take the pain away, but the Lord helped me use it for His Glory with a short video on Facebook Friday afternoon.
It wasn’t about my glory
Or self-pity
Or to make people love me
Instead of it was thankfulness that there was someone stronger than me.
Please understand I’m not saying everyone should upload videos to Facebook when they are having a bad day. Instead I’m encouraging you to embrace your brokenness.
Don’t run from the pain, medicate it [4], or act like it isn’t there.
Don’t immediately start looking for people whose love, acceptance, or pity make you feel better (which is what I usually do). Instead let the pain and suffering point your eyes to God.
I often spend all of my time on those days focusing on the problem or source of my stress, but don’t even think about the purpose that God may have for it (I’m too busy trying to take the pain away).
But it’s as I embrace my brokeness that the Lord helps me understand a deep truth. I can’t do it all alone…and that’s okay…because I don’t have to.
The thing is I’m not created to walk through life in my own strength, I’m created to walk in a relationship with God through Faith in Jesus Christ.
What does this mean?
In Christ I am not broken
In Christ I am whole
Yes there will still be suffering. But on those bad days instead of trying to take care of everything myself I can run to the arms of my loving Heavenly Father who will never be broken.
- You can find a post I wrote about this a few weeks ago at http://australianmissionary.org/social-media-isnt-about-my-love-tank/ ↩
- http://australianmissionary.org/social-media-isnt-about-my-love-tank/ ↩
- This may not seem very loving , but God can do a much better job of controlling things than I can. ↩
- use anything to take it away, not just drugs ↩
svgmissionary.com 