Gen. 3:16 Our Broken Relationships


Gen. 3:16   To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”

We live in a world of broken relationships, but it wasn’t meant to be that way.

In the beginning Adam and Eve were part of a complimentary relationship that was focused on ministering to the other (there was no arguing or hostility of any kind). However the moment Eve ate that fruit everything changed.

  1. Suddenly instead of allowing Adam to have a leadership role [1] Eve chose to take it herself (Genesis 3:6)                                                                                                                                                         Please don’t think I’m being disrespectful towards women, or claiming they cannot make decisions  for themselves. My point is in that situation Adam was supposed to make the decision.
  2. Instead of taking the leadership role and communicating with God, Adam chose to hide, and didn’t confess any wrongdoing (Genesis 3:7–10)
  3. Instead of protecting Eve (an important part of Adam’s role) he chose to blame her for everything that happened (Genesis 3:12)

I will leave the discussion of marriage principles in this passage to those who have more experience with the subject, but it is interesting to point out from the moment Eve rebelled the marriage roles were reversed.

Eve instead of desiring to be cared for or protected wanted to lead.

And Adam instead of desiring to lead handed that responsibility over to someone else (Eve was the one responsible).

Sadly this reversal of roles still affects every marriage relationship to this day because God used it in a curse on Eve (we will get to Adam’s curse tommorrow don’t worry). In it the Lord makes an intersting statement “your desire will be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.

If you will allow me to paraphrase this, God is saying “Your desire will be for your control in the relationship but your husband will control you in an unloving way.”

Instead of being a complimentary relationship where both minister to one anothers needs in love, now the marriage relationship will be all about control

It’s not difficult to see how the struggle in this curse extends to EVERY RELATIONSHIP.

  1. Children with parents
  2. Workers with thier employers
  3. Students with teachers
  4. Kids with siblings
  5. Adults with friends

Those not in power are always trying to get control (like Eve), but it’s a broken form of control like Adam displayed (a forceful control).

The bottom line is both sides in the relationship will constantly be looking for control (being able to do it their way) This is why something as trivial as where we go to eat lunch can turn into a huge argument

Okay so what does this mean for Christians?

Simply this

We must understand it wasn’t meant to be this way

God didn’t want relationships to be about control

But when we chose our own way everything was broken.

The Lord instead desires that we create relationships built upon selflessly giving away of control [2]. In this way we display the love of Christ who was willing to give up everything on our behalf.

Phillipians 2:5–8
5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,

6 who, though he was in qthe form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,
7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.                                    8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

  1. Adam did lead, but did it in a spirit of humility and love instead of power  ↩
  2. not just in marriage, but in all our interactions  ↩

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