My Search for a Social Life

Last Tuesday I went on a run with my training partners determined to remain focused and not do a lot of talking.

That lasted about two minutes

I’m not sure why that happens, there is just something about running that causes me to talk constantly.

Of course there is nothing wrong with talking [1] in fact lately I’ve been trying to think about how to apply that outgoing personality into other areas of life.

The thing is I’m an introvert most of the time who would greatly prefer reading a book or watching a movie to spending time with other people…and that really has to change

Is there something wrong with enjoying a night in? Of course not! But when that desire keeps a person from developing relationships or a social life there’s definitely a problem, and that’s where I’ve found myself lately.

So gaining a social life has become a huge goal for me this year.

I can already hear the hysterical laughter of parents who come home exhausted at 6:00 every night or take care of the kids. 🙂

It is true that most of us don’t have healthy relationships with friends because our time and energy is taken up by things like family, work, and other daily challenges.

But my situation is unique as a single male in his late thirties. Being on my own means having extra energy or time after a hard day of work that can be spent connecting with others.

Yet I still stay home…

The biggest reason is when hanging out with other people the possibility of humiliating myself goes up dramatically [2]. So it’s just a lot easier to save myself the embarrassment.

However the extra time and energy of singleness is a gift from God, and using it watch TV or read every night instead of pouring myself into the lives of others is a disservice to that gift [3].

That’s why I’ve started leaving home at night and having coffee with friends. I’ll probably never be the life of the party but that’s okay, a listening ear is much better anyway.

  1. someone has to entertain people during those long runs  ↩
  2. It’s hard to humiliate yourself while running  ↩
  3. I’ve got nothing against tv or reading, and there is definitely a need to relax, but people also need role models, or somebody who will just listen  ↩

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