svgmissionary.com

Social Media Should Be About God’s Glory

Last week I shared some reasons why the Lord led me to step away from social-media (Facebook in particular) because my communication online was totally self-centered.

By focusing only on my own needs instead of others
By entertaining others and making myself look awesome
By using online communication to fill my love tank (need for approval)
By gaining the pity of others when I was having a bad day

After reading these posts it’s easy to think I don’t think people should EVER post anything about themselves online, but that isn’t true.

I love the fact that social-media allows me to share my life experiences with others and believe it’s a good thing. The problem arises when it’s done for self-centered reasons [1].

So instead of using Facebook as a stage for the “John show”, God desires that my experiences be used to encourage and challenge others. And in a deeper sense point people towards Him.

Yesterday I was able to run a half-marathon at Wrightsville beach after training for about two months. My goal was to finish under two-hours by setting a new PR (personal record) [2] and knew this would be a good opportunity since the course was flat (not many hills).

While driving to Wrightsville Saturday I was praying about some ministry opportunities when something led me to pray about setting a new PR. While this seemed like a selfish request I stopped in that moment and said “Lord you know how hard I’ve trained for this race, help me achieve the goal of finishing below two-hours if it is your will.”

As the race started I ran with a group of training partners for about three miles to keep myself from going too fast at the beginning. A little bit after mile three some other partners went running past at a slightly faster pace and something in my head said “you need to follow them” so I did.

By the halfway point (6.5 miles) we were about a minute faster than the two-hour goal, and I began preparing myself to push (run faster) at mile ten. That changed at mile eight when a partner pointed out all our miles would have to be under nine minutes (about ten seconds faster than our current pace). So the push started two-miles earlier.

Pushing earlier than expected meant by mile eleven I was hurting pretty bad so I’m extremely grateful for a running mentor (training group leader) who just happened to be running by at that moment. His encouragement, and an opportunity to run with a friend gave me the strength needed to finish mile eleven under nine minutes.

The last mile of any race is always a mental game (going on even though it hurts) so chasing two training partners (allowing them to get in front of you, but not too far ahead) gave me the motivation needed to finish strong.

The end result? one hour-fifty nine minutes, smashing my old record by five minutes. And most importantly I FINALLY broke two-hours!

Taking a picture with a finishers medal in my hand it would be easy to tell everyone “I ran a PR!” but to be honest I didn’t have a whole lot to do with it.

The Lord helped me keep a slower pace in the first three miles
The Lord brought some training partners who helped run a faster pace after mile three
He led me to start pushing at mile eight instead of mile ten
He provided a mentor for encouragement in mile eleven
And He allowed me to finish the half-marathon with friends

If any of those things hadn’t taken place I wouldn’t have been able to achieve my goal.

It’s easy to use the awesome experiences of life to fill our desire for acceptance with likes and comments. But if we set aside our own desires, those experiences can be opportunities to worship a God who graciously gives us what we need to accomplish our goals.

make myself look awesome, gaining love or approval of others, take away sad feelings immediately ↩
my best was two hours-four minutes ↩

The Adventures of JB, What Social Media Should Be About

Social Media Shouldn’t Be About My Self-Pity

Anyone who suffers from confidence issues, or low self-esteem like I do [1] knows what a pity-party is, but allow me to enlighten those of you who are unaware.

A pity party is when someone responds to something they are struggling with (a bad day) in a very dramatic fashion so others pay attention to them and give encouragement (pity).

Growing up I wasn’t able to find self-confidence in the normal ways [2] which made me view myself as someone who wasn’t as important as everyone else or worthless. Of course this isn’t true, but it was easy to believe sometimes.

To be honest I’m not sure when it happened, but one day a friend hearing me refer to myself as worthless said that I wasn’t, and gave me a compliment. Almost immediately my heart was filled with happiness…and I wanted to feel that way again.

Desiring compliments or encouraging words from others is a very good thing, but soon I began connecting those encouraging words with calling myself worthless, and so a cycle of pity-parties began.

The thing about pity (encouraging words from others because we are hurting) is it brings an almost immediate feeling of happiness. That emotional boost is something a person can quickly become addicted to.

Sadly over time I worked gaining the pity (love) of others down to a science.

By referring to my self as worthless (man I’m so stupid, ugly)
By telling people I can’t do things
By isolating myself from others and looking incredibly sad
By telling people I was okay while making it obvious I wasn’t on purpose
By doing everything in my power to let people know how sad I was

As a teen I would have been the World Heavyweight Champion of Self-Pity, and would have worn the championship belt at all times (to get the pity of others of course).

Thankfully today the Lord has shown me the selfishness of pity-parties that focus only making other people think about my problems [3]. But there is still part of my heart that wants everyone to feel sorry for me when I’m having a bad day.

Yesterday for me was when one of those days when very little seemed to go right. There weren’t any huge disasters, just a lot of small setbacks, and after the tenth or fifteenth one my emotions had gone from annoyed to furious.

There was a huge temptation for me to just get on Facebook and type “having a bad day” because I knew within minutes friends would send encouraging notes, and pray that things would go better. But I kept myself away from the computer (it was the source of my frustration anyways) and off social-media.

Now please don’t think I’m saying venting on Facebook is wrong because I’m not. Instead this is something I PERSONALLY cannot do since I know the habit of turning to online friends for pity when things go bad is hard for me to break.

Another reason I didn’t vent on Facebook is experience has taught me pity is a poor excuse for true love or acceptance. See there is a difference between someone saying “John your one of the smartest people I know” after hearing me give an english lesson, or saying the same thing after I call myself dumb.

Pity is something forced from people by my own selfish actions, love is something they give of their own free will.

There is one more reason I’ve stepped away from self-pity. Because those bad days and frustrating experiences are part of God’s Will for my life since they show how much I need Him.

So to all of you recovering approval addicts stop running to social-media, and instead run to the loving God who created that craving for approval in the first place.

With the Lords help I’ve been able to find my identity in Christ instead of the things that I do, but as a child this was a huge struggle ↩
athletic ability, good grades, popularity, etc ↩
there will be times all of us vent about having a bad day but self-pity is different, it purposely tries to make others feel sorry for you so that immediate feeling of happiness can come ↩

The Road to Our Redeemer

Exodus 14:19-20 My Job is To Stand Still

Photo courtesy of http://christianitymalaysia.com/wp/faith-presumption

Ex. 14:19 Then the angel of God who was going before the host of Israel moved and went behind them, and the pillar of cloud moved from before them and stood behind them,

20 coming between the host of Egypt and the host of Israel. And there was the cloud and the darkness. And it lit up the night without one coming near the other all night.

I hate standing still…No seriously I have to be doing something from the moment my feet hit the floor in the morning till I collapse in the bed at night.

The Lord knows I view standing still as being “lazy” and so He forces me to do just that. And it’s in those situations I’m taught the power of waiting for God.

Exodus fourteen seems strange because God confronted the Jews crying out (asking for help) and not moving forward in Exodus 14:15 [1]. Then in 14:19–20 God separated the Jews and Egyptians for a whole night while they didn’t move forward at all.

This actually wasn’t confusing for them since the presence of God normally led in this way (Exodus 13:21–22). Eventually the Jewish people learned to rely on His presence for guidance; when the cloud stopped they stopped, and when the cloud started moving again they moved.

The leading of God in this situation was understandable since He protected the Jews (Egypt couldn’t attack) but what confuses me is why God waited overnight.

It’s possible that the Lord wanted to wait for morning before parting the red sea, but I believe He was teaching the Israelites a very important truth.

I am the one who decides when to move

If Moses had asked the Jews when they wanted the sea to part their response would have been “RIGHT NOW!” but God made them wait at least one night before anything happened [2].

It’s easy to view action in the face or fear or stress faith (and in a sense it is) but true faith involves waiting because it is completing the action God wants you to do, in the moment He wants you to do it.

The thing about never standing still or viewing inactivity as laziness is I’m never able to actually slow down and seek the Will of God. Often this means I accomplish a lot of things, but not in a way that honors the Lord (ten or fifteen done very quickly instead of a few done effectively).

This of course doesn’t mean God wants me to stop working. Instead there is a need for quiet moments when I seek His Will, or wait for Him to give guidance. This allows me to do purposeful work that is led by God.

A good illustration of this is the story in I Samuel 14 where Jonathan attacked a Philistine army with his armor bearer. At that point the Jews were vastly outnumbered, and only a few had weapons, so their defeat looked certain. Jonathan chose to approach the Philistine army, but said this to his armor bearer

1 Samuel 14:8 Then Jonathan said, “Behold, we will cross over to the men, and we will show ourselves to them. 9 If they say to us, ‘Wait until we come to you,’then we will stand still in our place, and we will not go up to them. 10 But if they say, ‘Come up to us,’then we will go up, for the LORD has given them into our hand. And this shall be the sign to us.”

Jonathan and his armor bearer stepped out in front of the army (on top of a hill) and waited. If the men said “we will come down to you” that was God’s way of saying you can’t have the victory, if they said “come up to us” then the Lord gave them the victory.

Most of us know the end of this story but just in case

11 So both of them showed themselves to the garrison of the Philistines. And the Philistines said, “Look, Hebrews are coming rout of the holes where they have hidden themselves.” 12 And the men of the garrison hailed Jonathan and his armor-bearer and said, “Come up to us, and we will show you a thing.”And Jonathan said to his armor-bearer, “Come up after me, for the LORD has given them into the hand of Israel.” 13 Then Jonathan climbed up on his hands and feet, and his armor-bearer after him. And they fell before Jonathan, and his armor-bearer killed them after him. 14 And that first strike, which Jonathan and his armor-bearer made, killed about twenty men within as it were half a furrow’s length in an acre of land. 15 And there was a panic in the camp, in the field, and among all the people. The garrison and even the raiders trembled, the earth quaked, and it became a very great panic.

I’m pretty sure Jonathan wanted to just charge up the hill and start swinging his sword, but he knew without the power of God they couldn’t win. He probably was filled with fear while standing where the whole Philistine army could see him (that’s not how you fight a war!) but he did it anyways.

Take it from someone who has run up way too many hills swinging his sword without checking with God first…it doesn’t work out very well.

Far better to stop, face our fears, and allow God to bring the right moment.

Why do you cry to me? tell the children of Israel to go forward ↩
it could have been a longer wait ↩

What Social Media Should Be About

Social Media Shouldn’t Be About My Love Tank

“Inside every child is an emotional tank waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty ’love tank” (Gary Champan)

I believe that every one of us has a love tank (not just children) and when this tank runs low, we start looking for ways to fill it. This is actually a healthy thing because the Lord created us with a need to be loved, however the way we fill our love tanks is incredibly unhealthy.

Our need for love is meant to be filled through a relationship with God like Adam and Eve had in the garden of Eden. Yet after sinning against the Lord this relationship was broken (Genesis 3:8), and a huge change is seen.

Genesis 3:11 And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?

12 And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.

13 And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.

Up to this point the relationship between Adam and Eve had been selfless (only focused on ministering to one another) but now they are self-centered (focused on their own needs). So instead of taking leadership and confessing his sin Adam blames Eve for it in verse twelve [1], and Eve blames the serpent (Satan).

These self-centered relationships are explained further in Genesis 3:16 where God curses Eve by saying “your desire will be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” Basically the Lord is saying the marriage relationship (and all relationships actually) will include a struggle over control.

It can be paraphrased as “Your desire will be for your husbands role as leader (place of decision-making, providing, or protecting) and he will rule over you in a forceful way (take control).” Editors note: Just to clarify I am not saying women cannot lead in relationships, in fact in most cases women are BETTER leaders than men, but Scripture is clear that the role of leadership is with a husband.

So relationships are a back and forth battle between those who have control, and those who want it.

What does this have to do with a love tank or social-media? From that point on we began using others to fill our love tank instead of God.

Of course this directly affects our relationships with others because instead of trying to fill their love tanks we are too busy using them to fill our own.

In the past this was done primarily through physical relationships

Someone giving us a kind word or compliment
Helping us with a problem
Congratulating us on an achievement, or hard work
Listening to us when we are struggling [2]

Today filling of our love tanks is primarily done through online communication.

Someone liking or commenting on a Facebook post
Sending us a private message
Sharing photos of activities together on Instagram
Or sharing our messages with others

Of course it isn’t bad to enjoy things like this, but I find myself craving these things because that’s what fills my love tank. So someone liking my Facebook post isn’t a pleasant surprise, it’s something I must have.

Dr. Ed Welch describes this problem in his excellent book When People are Big and God is Small as “approval addiction” and illustrates it by saying something like a compliment from his wife becomes a thing he must have for a healthy relationship.

The thing with our love tanks is they leak…and when they reach a dangerously low-level it’s easy to write a funny or sad social-media post, then fill our tank with likes and comments (trust me I know).

Yet there will come a day when people won’t interact with us online.

And as someone who has done it in the past let me assure you all the online interaction in the world cannot fill your love tank.

Our only hope is running to God, the one who created our tanks in the first place. And then with hearts filled with love we can begin pouring ourselves out into the lives of others.

and blames God too “the woman whom thou gavest to me” ↩
these things are actually good, the problem arises when we are only interested in using relationships with others to fill our own love tanks (more about that tomorrow) ↩

The Road to Our Redeemer

Exodus 14:13-14 My Job is Not to Fight the Battles

Exodus 14:13 And Moses said to the people, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again.

Exodus 14:14 The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”(emphasis added)

Israel after finally being delivered from Egyptian captivity were forced to face the army of Egypt soon afterward. Pharaoh decided to recapture them since the Jews were in a position they couldn’t escape (Exodus 14:3) [1]

Instead of showing faith in God the Jews began blaming Moses for their coming death (14:11–12) since there was no way they could defeat the army of Egypt.

The response of Moses was a very big deal because it marked a huge change in the way we face challenges.

The Israelites were used to fighting their own battles (emphasizing human strength or ability) but this time God would fight the battle for them

This truth must have been very encouraging to the Jews, but Moses wasn’t done. He proceeded to tell them they had to be silent.

I happen to like the way this is paraphrased in another Bible version, “GOD will fight the battle for you. And you? You keep your mouths shut!” [2]

Now obviously Moses isn’t literally telling them to stop talking since a great song of praise to God follows their deliverance (Exodus 15:1–20). So what exactly does Moses mean?

Some commentaries believe this was his way of saying “don’t do anything” but that doesn’t make sense because God questions why the Jews haven’t moved (Exodus 14:15) and they were asked to walk across the red sea (14:21–22).

It’s my personal opinion that God here is demanding the Jewish people obey Him without question. In other words, their responsibility is to trust the Lord.

The Jews had a really bad habit of questioning the commands of God, or complaining about them instead of actually obeying. They were so used to doing things the old way (in their own strength) that this new way (trusting God and obeying) was incredibly difficult.

The crazy thing is I find myself drawn to taking care of things myself (which is much more difficult) just like the Jews instead of just trusting God because obedience means giving up control.

But I’ve learned over the years that trying to do God’s job (fight the battles) is a bad idea, since I make a very poor substitute for God.

“Lord my heart breaks when I think of all the times that I’ve charged into battle only to fail in spectacular fashion, when all you wanted me to do was obey”

cities on both sides, and the red sea behind them ↩
The Message ↩