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Why we don’t use the “do not disturb” button on our phones

Last Friday night after a young-peoples Bible study four of us went over to my house for sandwiches, coke, and some fellowship. We ended up laughing and talking for about two-hours before I kicked them off my front porch.

This was a fun time of interaction and relationship development but one thing bothers me as I think about it this afternoon…all of us where on an electronic device (phone or tablet)

Todays society has mastered the art of having a conversation with someone while tweeting, swiping, posting, emailing, or scrolling through updates to the point where we don’t see a problem with it anymore.

Marshall Segal wrote a very insightful piece about this called Home Alone: The Lies that Tie Us to our Phone this week, and it made me really rethink our Friday night fellowship time.

Segal begins by pointing out phones or technology allow us to be there physically, but not there mentally or emotionally

The message we’re really sending while sending one more quick text is: Better to be away from the family — the spouse, the children, the roommate, the guest — and at home with the phone. As Sherry Turkle has observed, our phones now present the potential to be with someone, but always somewhere else as well (Alone Together, 152). To constantly check our phone, then, is to put up an away message and declare that we’re not really there. We’re home together, yet home alone.

He proceeds to explain the first lie that keeps us home alone, “the world needs me”

For some of us, a savior complex tethers us to our phones. We’re afraid something will happen and someone will need us — and only us — immediately. What could they possibly do if we weren’t available? Well, probably whatever they did for thousands of years before the telephone existed, or for a couple hundred more while it was anchored to the wall. Or more likely, and yet strangely unthinkable to a me-centered generation, they’ll just call someone else.

Segal rightly points out this many times becomes a “savior complex” that believes we are the only ones who can possibly take care of everyone’s problems.

While this is true, the second lie (we need the world) is where he really got me. Marshall gets past the outer issues and reveals our constant connectedness has to do with our desire to be constantly affirmed.

We have a need to be needed. We love the idea that someone might text or call or tweet to get our attention. We don’t want to miss that moment when someone else thought of us. We need the world. Alert after alert, our phones justify and praise our existence. They reassure us that we are considered talented, important, and loved by someone — even if the affection is often shallow, superficial, and short-lived.

On a personal note I have found myself checking Facebook constantly after sharing a funny post or beautiful picture because in a way those red numbers make me feel loved (and they should) but it’s easy to go too far and use those numbers as the source of self-esteem (I MUST have likes and comments).

Marshall ends with an encouragement to do something absolutely extraordinary and radical…..Put your phone on “do not disturb” which allows no calls or notifications to come through. This is different than putting our phone away, and then reaching for the moment a vibration is felt or the slightest sound is heard 🙂

Part of me actually likes to spend time on the phone while talking to young people because it keeps things easy and comfortable. But by putting the electronics down and having a real conversation (however uncomfortable that might be) would bring more glory to God.

Tested Faith: A Study of James

James 2:2-A White Dress and a Bob Marley T-shirt

James 2:2 For if there come unto your assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel, and there come in also a poor man in vile raiment;

Yesterday morning a brother and sister came to visit during the morning Church service. She wore a beautiful white dress, while he had a Bob Marley shirt on. I happen to know that they are a poor family and he is the only boy (sure the dress had been worn by her older sisters) but it was still hard to keep my mind from making generalizations as he walked in.

Even more dangerous is the fact that my mind started placing both of them in categories (kinds of people) based on what they were wearing.

That girl is wearing a pretty white dress…we won’t have any trouble with her

Is he wearing a Bob Marley shirt? Better keep an eye on that one!

The thing is I know that boy very well

He comes by my house every day begging to hear a Bible story (preferably about David)
He was incredibly excited about being at Church yesterday, and gave me no trouble at all
Greets me every time they walk by my house
Is literally starving for the love or attention of others
And has an honest desire to learn more about God

The New Testament Church in Jerusalem was struggling with the tendency to categorize people based on their outer appearance which eventually affected the way they treated those individuals (James 2:3). In this case a rich man with great power or honor was contrasted with a poor man who had no power whatsoever. The division may have gone something like this.

The rich man:

A man who deserves honor from us
A man who can help us in some way/has something we need
A man who deserves to have a position of authority

The poor man:

A man who is going to dishonor us by his presence
A man who can’t help at all, and will probably want things from us
A man who should be kept as far away from people as possible

The danger with this of course is a person is much more than the outer clothing.

That little boy probably wore the best shirt he had/or favorite shirt to Church because he knew it was an important occasion

He will keep coming with his sister every week to learn more about God

And visits the Pastor’s (my) house every chance he can get to hear Bible stories about David

Would I rather he wear something other than a Bob Marley t-shirt to Church? Yes of course. But the important thing isn’t what this boy wears, the important thing is the condition of his heart.

From the Blog

Why I Give Out Water and Bible Stories

October 12, 2015

Dearest Friends,

Halfway through my sermon a few weeks ago an eight-year old boy walked by the Churches open door (we keep it open to help with ventilation) then walked by again a few moments later and stopped to wave at me. I couldn’t help but smile mid-sermon because I knew him very well.

James (not his real name) lives near the Church and loves to come by the house with his two sisters asking for a glass of cold water along with a Bible story. James likes to hear about King David (I’ve told him about David three times) while his sister Jessica who is eleven (not her real name) prefers Noah’s flood, and his oldest sister Allison (not her real name) enjoys hearing how Jesus would crush the head of Satan 🙂

When they came to visit last Monday I asked James if he had waved at me during my sermon, and encouraged him to come to the Church services with his sisters. Knowing it doesn’t help to push a person in this situation I simply invited them to come visit, and prayed the Lord would do the rest.

After Sunday School finished yesterday morning I went downstairs to where we have a children’s program and there was James and his sister Jessica who greeted me excitedly. During the morning the service they happily sang hymns, colored in their prodigal son coloring sheet, and listened as I preached on the need to love others.

They came back for the evening service…and brought Allison with them.

While there is a great spiritual need in all of their lives the Lord has given me a special burden for Jessica, who seems truly hungry to learn the Word of God. She came yesterday morning wearing a gorgeous white dress (the first time I’ve ever seen her wear one) and unlike her brother who spent most of the sermon coloring, watched me intently as I preached. I truly believe that she is close to understanding and accepting the Gospel. Pray that they will all continue coming, and understand their need of Christ.

And for me pray that I can continue building Gospel bridges into the lives of Barrouaille’s people. At least once a day while sitting on the porch (often doing sermon prep) I will hear James shouting “Mr. John!” as he walks by the house…usually followed by a greeting, or request for water and a Bible story. May God give me many other friends who will call out my name as they walk by the house, and use those friendships for the Gospel.

In Christ,

John Wilburn

Our Broken Culture

Awesome Thoughts on Caring for the Elderly, and the Gospel

With the recent assisted dying bills being passed that allows physicians to provide lethal prescriptions to those who have less than six-months to live, there have been some excellent articles that look at this issue from a Biblical perspective.

I enjoyed Joe Carters recent post “Still in the World” that speaks to the painful waiting as a loved one nears the end of their life. The best I have read on the subject so far though is Russel Moore’s “How Caring for the elderly points us to the Gospel.”

In it he describes the emotions after helping move his grandmother into a care-home.

On the phone with my wife, I told her that I hoped that I die the way her father did, this year, suddenly, in seemingly good health, not like this. I didn’t want to contemplate being confined to a bed, dependent on others for everything from food to being turned to avoid bedsores. As I said those words, I was struck with what was at the root of all that: my pride and idolatry. I was reminded, once again, of what a hypocrite I am.

I’ve spent my life, after all, arguing that human dignity does not consist in how “useful” one seems but in the image of God. I’d made that case, days before, in Washington D.C. arguing for the protection of unborn children. I’ve done the same in recent days regarding orphaned children with special needs, Middle Eastern Christian refugees escaping persecution, and trafficked women and girls. I believe that, for all of them, and I believe it for my grandmother. It’s just hard for me to believe it about myself.

Moore continues by describing himself as what he calls a “recovering social Darwinist”

That’s because, when it comes to myself, I’m a recovering social Darwinist. I tend to judge my own worth by how “needed” I am—by what sermon I’ve preached, by what book I’ve written, by what legislation I’ve pushed forward, by how good a father I’ve been to my sons that day. I am accustomed to people seeing me as having a certain amount of “power”—for some that’s influence to get things done, for others it’s anointing to preach and teach God’s word. I tend to believe that that’s who I am.

That’s why I said I didn’t want to be confined to a bed. I don’t want to be dependent. I want my children to see me, right through to the end, as Dad who can fix anything. I want my former students to still see me as offering wisdom and counsel. I want my wife to see me as the whirlwind of activity she married. I want my allies to see me as the joyful prophet, the social conservative with a social conscience. I want to be needed, and not needy. And that’s my problem.

In this way caring for the elderly or watching a loved one suffer from a life-threatening disease is an important reminder of our weakness and need of Christ. It also reminds us as Moore points out the important thing “is not all our doing but the simple truth that we are dependent children who need one another, and who need a Father, to live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28).”

There is hope in this because all of us someday will be called up to Heaven to be with Christ, and will live with Him for all eternity. The article ends on that note in a beautiful way.

As I moved my grandmother’s things from her house, I leafed through her Bible, large-print King James Version, and noticed pages and pages of notes in one of my favorite books, that of the prophet Isaiah. Most of them were handwritten passages from the prophet—most of them related to the coming of the kingdom, the abolishing of the reign of death. My Ph.D. dissertation was in the area of eschatology. I’ve preached and taught Isaiah a thousand times. But something tells me, I won’t really understand it until someone has to feed me through a straw.

From the Blog

Living Without Lucky Charms

Lucky Charms

Since I am a missionary every once in a while people will tell me things like “wow thanks for making such a sacrifice, I could never do something like that!” My response is usually to just smile and thank them for the compliment, but the truth of the matter is, missions isn’t really that much of a sacrifice

You just have to learn to live without lucky charms

Of course there are some huge challenges to missions work like adapting to the culture, or dealing with homesickness (particularly in the first-term) and Satan will definitely attack those serving on the front-lines of spiritual warfare. But we (missionaries included) sometimes have the idea that missions means sacrificing everything that makes us happy…and that just isn’t true.

Now that doesn’t mean sacrifices won’t be made when you’re a missionary, it’s just the kind you can live with.

For instance I have everything needed for a comfortable life in Barrouaille

A house with working appliances
A vehicle
Plenty of food and water to drink
Friends who help me
Internet and tools (laptop, phone) to keep in touch with people
And a ministry to become involved with

In turn I’ve sacrificed that made my life “comfortable”

Hundreds of high-definition cable channels
Wal-mart and other large stores where you can buy anything
Junk food 🙂
Fast food restaurants (though there is one KFC and Subway in St. Vincent)
Air-conditioning (I have fans, and spend most of the day on the porch)
Movie theatres or redbox
and Amazon.com (sadly free two-day shipping doesn’t include St. Vincent)

I was reminded of this truth after finding a box of my favorite cereal Lucky Charms at the local grocery store this morning. Part of me was actually tempted to buy it until I noticed the price

it was $23.65!

To be fair that is in East Caribbean dollars so in American that would come out to about twelve-bucks which was still too expensive!

In a way missions on the island and being a missionary in general has taught me you must learn to live without lucky charms (the things in your life that aren’t necessary) most of the time.

Now before you go feeling sorry for me and my pitiful life without lucky charms and $5 matinée movie tickets please don’t. Because my time in missions has taught me you can actually have a happy, comfortable life without them.

Do I sometimes wish there was a Wal-Mart down the street? Yes

Are there mornings I miss my venti Starbucks coffee? Sure

Is Saturday different because I can’t watch college football all afternoon? Yep

But do I NEED any of those things? Absolutely not

What I’ve learned is living without lucky charms is a blessing

The really interesting thing about being on the island is it shows me just how many things in life I can actually do without
The money saved from not buying those items frees up funds that can be used to disciple Believers, and reach Barrouaille for Christ
It creates an evaluation of my daily life (is this something I need or a luxury?)
And when luxuries are experienced, it gives a greater appreciation for them. For instance I am rewarding myself for a week of hard work today with a $10 two-liter of coke 🙂

The greatest thing about living without these things is it shows you don’t need them to be happy.

Think about it, how many people in America right now are surrounded by every convenience in the world, but at the same time miserable? The reason is those things that make us comfortable become our source of happiness, and sometimes in order to make us realize that God takes them away.