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When Adults Aren’t Adults

Yesterday after juice, tablet time, and thirty-minutes of red light, green light in a field I came back to the house for a computer tutoring session with a lady in the community. The kids stayed around my house but weren’t causing a commotion, they were happy to watch from the road outside my gate as I showed her how to send an email with a photo attachment.

Things took a turn for the worse when the ladies younger sister showed up. It was time for her seven-year old niece (one of the children on the street) to go home. But her niece was having too much fun watching me teach with the computer and refused.

Now the adult response to this would be to either approach the child and tell them to go home, or take the child home. Unfortunately the sister was interested in my computer too so she started shouting at her cousin from the porch instead. As you can imagine this turned into a huge shouting match between her and a group of children

Eventually I put an end to the yelling and walked the children down the road myself. One of the boys was particularly angry about the things she had said, and had done a lot of shouting so I got down on one knee and looked him in the eyes. “Now what do we do when somebody lashes us (yells at us) I asked him? We lash them back!” He said in anger.

His response was incredibly sad but to be honest it didn’t surprise me. As with most cultures there is a lack of fathers who can teach little boys what it’s like to be a man, and Godly mothers who can teach teenage girls how to Glorify God. Though I felt woefully inadequate in the moment I took a few minutes to teach him real men don’t lash back because it doesn’t fix anything.

After dealing with an eight-year old acting his age I walked up onto the porch and faced a woman in her twenties who acted like she was seven. I kindly asked them to leave and explained she had allowed herself to be dragged down to her cousins level. In the worst case she should have allowed me to send them away (which I would have gladly done) instead of shouting obscenities from my porch.

Walking down to a local store an hour later I encountered two grown-women standing in the middle of the road yelling at each other as a crowd gathered. Unfortunately this is something we see far too often here, the mothers and fathers acting like they are seven. This of course is the core problem since the twenty year old daughter sees her mom acting this way so in her mind it’s fine.

Never before has there been a greater need for Godly men and women to mentor (teach) both children and adults what it means to be a real man and woman. For most Christian parents that’s incredibly difficult because almost all time and energy is focused on their children (which is where it should be) so the call is for Godly single men and women who will look for those teaching moments…and instead of lashing back point eyes to God.

Our Broken Culture

Redefining Courage

What is courage?

Samuel James asked that important question and gave some thought-provoking answers in a recent article Character and Courage. James begins by pointing out the courage of main characters in Stephen Spielberg movies, including his most recent “Bridge of Spies” that gave an idea for the article.

Courageous people are obviously of evergreen interest to novelists and filmmakers, but one thing that sets Spielberg’s heroes apart is the courage of their self-mastery. Spielberg’s courageous characters are not merely brave in the culturally convenient senses of the word. They are not brave in their self-actualization; they are brave in their self-sacrifice. There is a tremendous difference.

This self-sacrificing courage is very different from what we call courage today as he explains.

my guess is that, in a culture of pure self-actualization and assertion of “my story,” all of us simply believe that we are courageous by default. A generation’s worth of agonized psychological health campaigns and “self-esteem” parenting literature have made all of us deeply suspicious that we are being very courageous and very brave merely by getting out of the bed in the morning.

This courage by default has created a new definition for being courageous which James illustrates using a popular Katy Perry song roar

Now I’m floating like a butterfly
Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes
I went from zero, to my own hero

The key phrase there is “my own hero.” Not YOUR hero. Not THEIR hero. MY own hero. Perry’s song is about freeing oneself from the life of what Ayn Rand called “second-handers,” people whose sense of identity consists in being approved and admired so much so that they forget to love anything else

In other words courage in our culture is “being yourself.” While being an individual does take self-confidence Samuel James is right to wonder if that’s what courage is really all about.

But does being “my own hero” also mean, as the chorus sings, “I am a champion”? Is asserting oneself as an individual really the deepest and most genuine form of courage? If it is, then I’m afraid men like James Donovan (character in bridge of spies movie) and Abraham Lincoln were deeply self-deceived. Those men believed the way they could courageous was not by asserting their own personal championhood, or becoming “their own hero” to the frustrated designs of those around them. Rather, people like Lincoln and Donovan were willing to lay down their lives for the cause of something outside them, for something that had lasted and would last well beyond their lives and their fortunes

The point James makes very well in his article is this. We have forgotten what courage is.

Courage isn’t demanding your rights

standing up for something that you think you deserve

Or being a unique individual

Again courage is involved in all of those things. But true courage is about standing up and giving themselves over for defense of the marginalized, and the Gospel of Christ.

Articles Cited: http://samueldjames.net/2015/10/28/character-and-courage/

Theology of Singleness

When A Single Becomes the Authority Figure

Saturday afternoon I invited kids from the island to my house so they could watch Veggie-Tales (I know I’ve lost my mind thank you very much). As I got ready that morning part of me knew this would be the day discipline would have to be handed out.

Over the last week the kids have been getting crazier and crazier. This was mostly due to the fact that they were on school break till Wednesday, but also having seven or eight kids on your porch at once can be chaotic. In a deeper sense there is little discipline or structure (rules that need to be followed) for children on the island so they simply don’t have respect for authority.

As a single person who they visit every afternoon for juice and a story I’m definitely not the main authority figure called to bring structure into their lives. That’s a job for their parents and other family members, teachers, or in a worst case scenario their neighbor or an adult they’ve known for a long time. Definitely not the American whose been here for two-months.

Let me perfectly honest…it would be a whole lot easier to endure a half-hour of chaos and then send them home instead of instituting a system of rules and punishments if they don’t follow them. The problem is we live in a culture of authority figures who choose to endure the chaos instead of doing something about it. This eventually results in children who don’t know structure, only chaos.

In a perfect world I would be “Mr. John” the missionary who shares the Gospel with them as they listen quietly. But of course we don’t live in a perfect world.

We live in a world of absentee fathers
Authority figures who refuse to give consequences when children disobey
Parents who act like little children (unwilling to take responsibility)
And people who aren’t willing to do anything about the chaos

Yes as the guy who the visit for juice and a Bible story I’m probably not the one who is supposed to bring structure into the lives of these children. But as a Christian called by God to reach their hearts with the Gospel I must dive into the chaos, wrestle with it, and in love teach them wrong choices bring consequences.

Half-way through our second scoobie-doo episode (it followed veggie tales) two of the boys started getting wild and I finally told them to go home. This was repeated four times till I walked down to the gate and told them in specific terms not leaving would be met with the consequence of not coming to my house for two days. Instead of leaving they decided to hide behind a wall so unfortunately they won’t be coming till Wednesday. Of course after this they were VERY obedient and begged me to have mercy. In that moment being a big softie I was tempted to give them another chance.

I mean seriously what’s so bad about another half-hour of chaos? The problem with it is I would portray for them just one more broken authority figure who isn’t really there, or never follows up rules with consequences.

So a rules system is implemented and enforced with rewards for those who follow Mr. John’s rules and children who misbehave will be sent home. And with the Lord’s help there will be thirty-minutes of structure in the midst of complete chaos.

Our Broken Culture

God is not “Fun Size”

Last Saturday night I sat on my front-porch but didn’t meet any trick-or-treaters (they don’t do Halloween in St. Vincent) instead about an hour was spent reading articles that discussed how the holiday could be used for God’s Glory.

Like most of you I don’t agree at all with the original meaning of Halloween as a pagan holiday, however a day of the year when strangers come knocking on your door in America (a place where sadly we use our homes as impenetrable fortresses) can’t be passed up.

One of the more interesting ideas was that Christians can use this as an opportunity to illustrate the generosity of God and the Gospel instead of fear as described by David Mathis in his article “Take Halloween Captive”

Because of the authority of Jesus, and his power within us — and remembering that Satan is our enemy, not our neighbors — we lean into Halloween, not away. We turn the porch lights on to chase away the darkness. We have the best candy on the street and give with generosity, not the cheapest fair with a miser’s hand.

We open the door wide and linger in conversation. We plan ahead about how to make the most of this unique opportunity, when a society of people who increasingly keep to themselves in the neighborhood turn on lights and knock on doors.

This idea of generosity is illustrated by Jimmy and Kelly Needham who both wrote articles about their outreach of generosity on Halloween night.

Jimmy Needham explains why they choose this day of the year for generosity in his article “God Frankensteins and More: The opportunity for generosity on Halloween”

Halloween is one opportunity (among many) to surprise our neighbors with the generosity of God.

I say generosity “of God” because our giving functions as a parable. In handing out the best candy or the most candy, in creating a welcoming home for trick-or-treaters, in surprising our neighbors with kindness, we are telling them about the character of God. He too is generous. He too is welcoming. He too is kind. Our simple, generous acts of love are yard signs pointing to our God.

His wife Kelly explains how they show generosity in her article “Redeeming Halloween”

You can even participate in Halloween without actually celebrating the day itself. We are careful to not have any traditional Halloween decorations like ghosts, spiderwebs, monsters, etc. Instead, we try to brand ourselves as the “crazy-generous” house on our street, making a statement about the gracious nature of our God through sending his Son.

How are we doing that? We give out the good candy—king-sized candy bars! And when you’re giving out over 800 of those candy bars, people start asking, “Why?”—which leads to an open door for the gospel. “Because we serve a generous God who gave his Son to pay the penalty of our sin and give us new life. We didn’t deserve it, and we long to be a small expression of his generosity toward us.” I’ve already been able to share my testimony and the good news of Jesus several times just by buying the candy.

This theme of generosity linked to God is even seen in the sign in front of their house of Halloween night

Back at our house, as trick-or-treaters arrive at our front steps (we live on a hill top), they are met with a sign: “If you make the climb, there’s king-sized candy bars, cause there’s not a King as generous as ours.” The college students from our church greet people down front, getting prayer requests and texting them up to people inside who lead our prayer room. On the way back down, gigantic Snickers bars in hand, visitors see another sign in the yard: “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23)

While it’s obviously not possible for all of us to go out and buy 800 king-size candy bars, the idea of God’s generosity is still something that must be displayed. Through these and other articles we are reminded that God gives to us sacrificially through the death and resurrection of Christ.

Whether or not a person celebrates Halloween we can all agree that we don’t serve a “fun size God” and therefore we must not allow ourselves to be known as “fun size Christians”

Articles Cited:

Our Broken Culture

Why the Gospel Needs a Product

On a Monday night in late 2009 I was drowning my sorrows in a two-liter bottle of coke and feeling pretty sorry for myself. After returning to Melbourne Australia for a second-term of service the Lord was doing great things, but part of me knew I could be doing more.

This idea had been growing in my heart for a long time because I truly wanted to do more for the Lord in Melbourne, but there weren’t opportunities to do more in the local Churches. Most missionaries have experienced this kind of frustration that demands new ministries be created, or the unsaved be drawn to Church.

That night an idea began to grow in my mind that has helped guide my ministry since…the Gospel needs a product.

Now that idea may scare some people (it scared me at first) so allow me to clarify what I’m saying. I am not telling you the Gospel has lost it’s power to save people, or transform lives. And I’m not encouraging Churches to leave strong exegetical preaching for a ministry that attracts people. Instead it’s a sad truth that the unsaved are no longer coming to us (the Church) so we must come to them with the Gospel.

In most cases this means creating what my home church calls a “Gospel Bridge” or a relationship built upon common interests and seeks opportunities to share the Gospel. As someone who has tried to do this in the past I can tell you it’s difficult (my being an introvert doesn’t help) but I’ve learned that if you offer a product (something they want for free) then building those bridges become much easier.

Last month I started offering children from local schools five-minutes of iPad time (to the first five) and glasses of juice to the first seven. As you can imagine this resulted in lots of kids, and I ended up turning many of them away 🙂 Along with that tablet time however was a Bible lesson and Gospel presentation.

Yes there are some children who drank their juice or played a game and then left immediately not interested in a Bible story at all. But I also have a core group of five or six children who hang around my house every afternoon to play games, listen to Bible stories, and understand the Gospel. In a way with Gospel bridges firmly built I have entered into a mentoring relationship with them.

This week I began a free computer-tutoring program in the community designed to develop relationships with adults in the community (they aren’t too interested in juice).

There has already been some interest in this program, and some people who are trying to take advantage of it like the man who came by this morning asking me to fix his broken phone 🙂 But out of all those “consumers” there will be a few who God has chosen for Gospel bridges. People who in the midst of conversations about email and facebook will hear the good news that can save their soul.

To be honest I wish the Gospel didn’t need to be connected with a free product, and there are definitely times when this isn’t absolutely necessary. Offering products also can easily emphasize physical needs (giving people what they need) instead of sharing Christ. Yet we must still be faithful because for the twenty who gulp down their juice and run, five will truly listen